asking for help

09 Feb 2012 No Comments

Psychological Resilience Class Feedback (Part Two)

“Thank you for asking me to tell my story.

The year before I took the course was a very difficult year; it was as if fate wanted to compound many major traumas into a short year. It has been so bad, that I have only been able to five people, not including myself that know the full story.  Therefore, before I took the course, people were already complimenting me on how well I was handling things, but I wanted to be able to progress farther and learn the techniques to do so, and the course delivered.  It not only taught techniques, but it also provided objective perspectives.  In particular it was interesting to read about the contributing factors that Bonato presented in the paper I needed to read about the post traumatic growth in abusive relationships. 

I would highly recommend this course for anyone who believes that they would like to improve their resiliency, but not for anyone who does not.  Although, what I appreciated most about the course has been the classmates.  The discussions in class and outside of class are things that could probably only come from people that know that learning resiliency is so important that it is worth devoting three intense week to learning just a little bit more about it.
 
The two most important things I learned were the ABC theory, belief is more important than actual events in determining consequences.  Bad things can happen, but if one controls their beliefs, looks for the benefits, measures what assets they have to handle the situation, as well as looking at the positive benefits of the change, one will be able to live a more successful life.  And of course the opposite is also true.  Good things can happen, and if one looks at the negative and the lack, there will be less success. 
 
Since learning that, I have been focused on realistic optimism and have been making the right choices to progress in my career. 
Also I have learned immediate techniques.  When handling a large problem I go to the gym not just for the dopamine, but it tires me out so I can only think about the problem at hand not distracting thoughts.  I have opened up and now seek out social support much more easily, and I look for humor more in situations.  However the biggest immediate change has been a focus on seeking gratitude immediately after a problem.  That actually has an effect of changing breathing to calm me down and has even reduced physical pain.  Additionally it can be a mental challenge that provides additional insights into situations.  Moreover, it just feels good”.
  
Eric Ehmann – US
 
“As a psychologist who works and conducts researches on violence and trauma, it was necessary for me to take the resilience course. Resilience is a very important field because its discourse is focused on the individual, especially on the health issue. I could learn more about Positive Psychology – which I didn’t have a lot of knowledge before – and how it emphasizes in the individual’s potential aspects instead of psychopathological aspects, as traditional psychology does.   
 
I also liked the classes because they were interactive and dynamic. The class was multicultural. The students could discuss the subjects to each other and that was what I liked most. It’s good to know different points of view and it’s even better to know people from all over the world”.
 
Thayse Dantas – Brazil

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , ,

06 Feb 2012 No Comments

Psychological Resilience Class Feedback (Part One)

Last month Harvard Extension School offered Psychological Resilience Class PSYC-E-1018 led by Dr. Shelley Carson. Here is feedback provided about the class  and the importance of this topic from several students:

“From the cradle to the grave, humans have to face problematic situations. In one way or another, we are exposed to danger, confusion, disappointment or grief. However, there is something that changes over time, especially when it comes to the ability to cope with serious, more complex issues. In the hindsight, one can realize how one’s capacity to overcome both minor and major problems increases. I remember having thought about the following question long before taking the resilience course: How come I don’t see the problems the same way I did three years ago?

A noteworthy lesson I learned is that it’s never too late to start something great, regardless of how ambitious your plan may seem at first. Shelley Carson, our professor, told us in a very humble manner that her interest in psychology had come pretty late, in her late thirties or forties. Having a living example of a remarkable case of a successful recommencement imbued the class with a spirit of optimism. A major contribution to the surprising participation of the group was the intimacy we developed by sharing personal experiences.

I’m sure there was a considerable share of students sitting there whose major interest wasn’t necessarily psychology, as it was in my case. However, we talked about commonplace things that awakened interest in all of us, each in a different war. That is definitely the most valuable thing a professor can do. I think that Shelley knew that intrinsically motivated students are more likely to make the most out of any course, so she put all her efforts in making her class interesting, by telling personal, yet very relevant anecdotes, and inviting students to participate in class. One thing I will never forget is how she pushed us to use the “resilience kit” we had been studying, which included several methods to cope with problems.

Most importantly, however, I learned that personal experience is far more worth in terms of resilience than any research that might be done by well-known psychologists anywhere in the world. In other words, understanding what the physiological responses to problems are represents a relatively easy task –as well as understanding the most efficient resilience methods–, but the real challenge is that of self-discovery, which requires a very introspective approach to problems and a lot of experience. I discovered, for instance, that I am very skillful at coping with problems by means of humor, and that I can easily clear my mind by doing exercise. Not only is it important to identify such skills, but also to become aware of their potential in problem-solving. That’s something no one can do for you, so I cordially invite you to start (or continue, if you already started) asking yourself these questions and getting to know yourself better.

In conclusion, I think that the most precious lessons we learn come unexpectedly, so I don’t think that a classroom is the only place where you can learn something useful. However, finding an excellent professor is certainly no easy thing to do and I am grateful –I also learned and have started realizing that gratefulness is a very effective resilience method– for the enriching experience of taking this course. I’m all the more grateful to Marina for allowing me to share my thoughts about it, for expressing one’s ideas is also a very satisfactory experience”.

Fernando de Testa – Mexico

“Dr. Shelley Carson’s Psychological Resilience class @ Harvard Extension School provides students with an in-depth look at the construct itself as well as the psychological tools associated with resilience.  I took the course as part of my major in psych and hoped to have a “value added” experience that would broaden my understanding of resilient individuals while gaining a deeper understanding of the difficulties that they’d faced.  This course provided that.  Dr Carson, Jeff Perrotti, & Ellen Brodsky collectively created a learning environment that was as acutely informative as it was warm and welcoming.  By definition, January session classes are fast-paced and mentally burdensome due to the amount of material presented in a 3 week period.  Although the material came and went quickly, I never felt overwhelmed as the support and presentation methods made the course enjoyable, while enhancing retention through dynamic class exercises and open discussion.

I took from this course a skill set that enables me to better understand and cope with potentially traumatic and stressful situations, both within myself and others.  I look forward to taking Abnormal Psychology and Creativity with Dr Carson in the future, both of which are offered in the fall semester here at Harvard Extension School”.

Christopher Dumas – US

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , ,

18 Jun 2011 No Comments

Three Tips

I wrote this post for another blog 6 months ago, but I thought of it after reading this http://t.co/bxUKflG, a collection of good tips and ideas from bloggers. Below are three tips that helped me in 2010.

1. Create several social identities. Become a member of several groups, whether it is a book club, church meeting, basketball team at work, make your own beer crew, etc. This year I spent many months unemployed and trying to be very frugal while I was looking for a job.  I couldn’t go out much or go on vacation, etc. but I attended my Tuesday Writer’s Meet-up gatherings, met with my book club friends and volunteered with OLPC.  My social groups got me going and gave me a sense of purpose and fulfillment especially during hard times.

Make friends with people from different walks of life, one day you’ll especially thank yourself for that, as those friendships will give you new perspective, make you wiser and more open-minded. This will also help you network and share hobbies with others.

2. Don’t be afraid to look or ask for help. At some points of our lives we all need either direct help or mentoring.  Sometimes we are debating between several options and can’t make up our mind. And then one small piece of advice from a total stranger could work as a moderator or catalyst for resolving our pending questions. When depressed, don’t assume you are alone and your condition will stay like that forever, everything passes especially bad things. “All inevitable things are temporary, only lessons from inevitable are eternal” Paolo Coelho. For any problem you have, there is someone who has the answer for you as there have been at least 12 billion people on Earth past and present (plus aliens) and someone for sure at least has thought about what you are pondering.

Ask for help, Google it, put it out there! And the answer will come to you, just believe in the abundance of the Universe, because for some magic reason there are people out there who have right answers. And if you are the one who has the solution, post it on your blog, some forum, etc… Your opinion is valuable for someone else on this planet.

3. Make new priorities this year. Find room for what you really want to do. Whether it is a long-desired hobby, more time spent with your friends and family or a simple vacation. My friend complained that he worked too much and had no time to rest, then I said “make it your priority, and then you will find time”.  When he focused on it, he managed to take time off work; months later I received beautiful pictures he sent from his big trip to Europe. He looked very happy and healthy. The same happened to me. A year ago I realized that I had other priorities in life besides corporate work, and I left my job and went to volunteer in Asia. I felt like I found something I lost many years ago – the  meaning and lightness of life. 

Make priorities this year for important things in you life that should not wait.

Inspired by Mark McCurdy and his Three awesome tips to start the New Year http://bit.ly/hxguEd

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,