happy

26 Jul 2011 1 Comment

The Elegance of the Hedgehog

I was lucky to get tickets to The hedgehog movie during French movie festival in Boston’s MFA this summer. The movie is very new and was not shown in the States before. I wanted to see it because the movie is based on the book The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. I read the book and I loved it. It is so special to me that I even participated in defending the book against harsh critics back in Oct 2010. I simply felt I had to do something after I read complete book’s review here http://www.complete-review.com/reviews/popfr/barbery.htm#ours. So I wrote:

“Hello,

I just read your review of the Elegance of the Hedgehog book by Muriel Barbery. I’m stunned - whoever wrote the review overlooked two important things that happened at the end of the book and kind of gave it the whole meaning. They are:

1. Paloma realized why she wanted to commit suicide: she didn’t want to be like her parents in their social class who are miserable and the most important that she couldn’t help them to be happy (her feeling of not being useful),

2. At the same time the death of Renee taught her and us, readers, that we do not have to die to find true value and beauty of our lives and the world around us, because Rene was doing it every day: appreciating little things and whatever we never thought was enough. We don’t have to die to learn to love life and people around us, even better - we can improve it by being kind to others.

I just want to mention that your review and rating (B. Had some appeal but annoyingly simplistic and reductive) seems simplistic to me.

Sincerely, Marina.”

“Dear Marina:

Thank you for your interest in the Complete Review, and for your comments.

I don’t know that Barbery conveyed those lessons very well: killing off Rene seems like far too easy a solution, and the character of Paloma was weakly written (of course her suicide-ambitions were all teenage melodrama — surely no one ever expected her to really kill herself). And Barbery’s obnoxious class-consciousness confuses the issue too: good and bad are painted far too black and white throughout the book, without any surprises (and finding ‘purity’ and nobleness in the exotic (the Japanese) also seems a terrible over-simplification).

Sincerely yours,

Michael Orthofer

Managing Editor, at the Complete Review and its Literary Saloon”

To find out if you agree with Michael or not, read the book and watch the movie, but the lessons I learned from both of them are:

  1. Try to appreciate life’s beauty in simple things
  2. Make sure you are useful and help others feel useful too
  3. We all are hiding, but want to be discovered and appreciated for what we are, start your discovery! :)

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

24 Jul 2011 No Comments

Feedback on the Happiness Formula (Part Three)

11. What do you like the most about the tool?

  • A. I like having all the categories laid out so succinctly, helping me to focus on what is really important, and whether I am doing those things, and what I need to change. I think you’ve done a great job of summarizing the factors that contribute to happiness.  
  • B. The ability to analyze so many different components of happiness at once.     
  • C. It helps you to think about what you might need to change or improve in your life to possibly become happier. 
  • D. Comprehensive and easy to use
  • E. Seeing the change from one day to the next.
  • F. How concise it is.  It didn’t overwhelm me with the amount of work I needed to do and amount of data I needed to provide. I liked the graphs though I would like to see them more usable

12. What do you like the least about the tool?

  • A. Nothing specific. You have already said that things will be automated online, which will make it more user-friendly. In a general sense, I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea of a “formula for happiness”. However, having used the tool, even if I don’t pay too much attention to the final happiness ratio value, I did find it useful.
  • B. The limited ability to see graphically what components of happiness are most important at a given time
  • C. It is simply an assessment tool – it is hard to tell what to really do with the information.
  • D. 20 questions is a lot
  • E. That the outcomes on the graphs overlapped too much.  Also, I’m not sure why there are 5 graphs.  Are they categorized in some way?  It makes me think they are and so wonder why they’re only named Graph 1, Graph 2, etc.
  • F. Graphs, not having ability to add may be one or two custom categories, not having ability to prioritize categories

13. What do you think is missing but would be a good addition to this tool?           

  • A. I’d like to see the online version. I think it needs to seem more “fun” to make people want to use it. The average person does not like spreadsheets, formulae, and graphs, so it will be better if some of that is behind the scenes. At the end, once the results are tallied, I’d like to see percentages for each category, and a summary (in words, not just in numbers/graphs) of what categories scored high and suggestions for what categories need to be worked on.
  • B. More graphing options as I mentioned.  Another idea might be to show a pie chart with the relative contributions of different categories to one’s overall happiness, and a table ranking the different categories.
  • C. Recommended reading?
  • D. Nothing
  • E. Sorry, I don’t have any feedback for you on this one
  • F. Ability to add one or two custom categories, ability to prioritize categories and then using that as a weightage in calculations

14. How many times did you use this tool during the week?

  • A. Two. I don’t think it should be used daily. I would get bored, and my answers wouldn’t likely change that much over that period of time, then I would likely stop using it. I think weekly at the most, or preferably bi-weekly, would work well for me.
  • B. 3
  • C. 4 times
  • D. 2X
  • E. Twice, b/c I had to!  ;-)   In seeing the graphs from one day to the next I would probably use it once a week.
  • F. Twice during the evaluation period but I plan to use it on a weekly basis for next few weeks

15. Do you have any other comments or suggestions?

  • A. Great job! If you want anyone to look over the online version (for user-friendliness, copy-editing, etc.), I’d be happy to do so.
  • B. Looking forward to seeing how this turns out on the website!
  • C. It’s an interesting project!
  • D. I would try to reduce the number of questions if possible, maybe after collecting some initial data to see which ones are most important to most people
  • E. I’m wondering if a depressed person might not want to use this tool b/c they already know they’re not happy and therefore might feel more depressed seeing the low score they already expect.
  • F. Great idea.  I would like to see it evolve and I would love to be included in further testing on it.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , ,

23 Jul 2011 No Comments

Feedback on the Happiness Formula (Part Two)

6. Did the exercise make you appreciate what you have in life and not focus on what you don’t?           

  • A. Yes, to some extent. It helped me to appreciate what I have, and it helped me to not focus on little things that don’t matter. However, it did focus my attention on things I don’t have that do matter. That doesn’t necessarily make me feel good in the short term (i.e. doesn’t make me happy now), but it is useful and gives me some goals. I like having targeted goals (e.g. I need to spend more time on my hobbies) rather than a general sense of wanting things to be different, but not being sure what I need to do. 
  • B. It did make me appreciate what I have in life, but instead of making me not focus on problem areas it actually motivated me to work harder to improve them.
  • C. No 
  • D. Yes, it helped a bit 
  • E. No 
  • F. Yes it did – I am going do this exercise consistently going forward – may be once a week – I think this provides so much clarity and focus on positives in my life and improvement areas for me personally

7. How long did it take you on average to answer the questions in sections Satisfaction and Importance?           

  • A. I’m not sure; probably around 10 minutes total the first time, with about 70% of that on the Satisfaction, and the rest on the Importance. Not more than 5 minutes total the next time, once I was familiar with the descriptions.
  • B. About 5-10 minutes
  • C. It took longer (a few minutes) to answer the questions in the “Satisfaction” section because I had to be honest with myself.  The “Importance” section was quicker to answer.
  • D. A few seconds
  • E. 5 minutes or so
  • F. 5 minutes each

8. Did you want to see more graphs (ex. for importance)?

  • A. No, I didn’t find the graphs useful, although they would be more valuable for tracking changes in time once I had more data. They are potentially overcrowded though (too much data on one plot). One thing that might be useful is to have percentages for each category on the formula page, rather than numbers 4.5 etc.
  • B. It would be good to see a graph of the importance weighted to each category over time.  Also, it would be good to see a graph showing the average rating and importance over time for all the categories.
  • C. Not necessarily.  But a graph plotting importance against satisfaction for a particular day or time period might be useful.
  • D. No, no need
  • E. No, but I might’ve liked to see the graphs separately since they overlapped too much for me.
  • F. Yes but it would be ideal to have capability that will allow me to chose what category I want to graph – the multiple categories on each graph are confusing and I wasn’t sure if they were grouped together for some specific reason – ability to mix and match categories on a graph (customize) will be useful as well

 9. Do you think that rating scale for satisfaction (1-10) is adequate?

  • A. Yes 
  • B. Yes, most people are familiar with rating things on a scale of 1-10 so this was intuitive 
  • C. Yes 
  • D. Yes
  • E. Yes
  • F. Yes

10. Do you think that rating scale for importance (0-5) is adequate?

  • A. No. As noted above, I didn’t use the low end of the scale at all, and would have liked more options at the higher end of the scale. 
  • B. I actually think it could be good to have a wider scale, like 1-10 or even 1-20.  With a scale of 0-5, you have less ability to express large differences in how important you think different components of happiness are.
  • C. Yes 
  • D. Yes 
  • E. Yes, having only 5 rankings made it easy to choose. 
  • F. Yes

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , ,

22 Jul 2011 1 Comment

Feedback on the Happiness Formula (Part One)

Last month I asked for feedback on the first version of the happiness formula. About twenty people received the file for testing, and ten people provided their feedback. Below you can find the most comprehensive feedback from six people (three females, three males). Each letter corresponds to a certain person in the order his/her feedback was documented, so you can see how each person responded to every question. Here are first 5 question out of 15 (see future posts for the rest):

1. Did you feel that categories are all inclusive? (all sources of happiness)

  • A. Yes – great job!  
  • B. I believe so – there is some overlap between categories 
  • C. Yes  
  • D. Yes 
  • E. This seemed comprehensive to me 
  • F. One thing I didn’t see is things I do for fun other than hobbies – watching sports, being on FB, occasional recreational activities such as parties etc. They all bring me joy and happiness – maybe you should add a category called ‘recreation’

2. Did you find categories easy to understand?        

  • A. Yes 
  • B. Yes 
  • C. Yes 
  • D. Yes, but I would tweak the language on some categories 
  • E. Yes 
  • F. Yes

 3. Do you think that category descriptions match category titles?    

  • A. Yes 
  • B. In general yes 
  • C. Yes 
  • D. See above 
  • E. Yes 
  • F. All except one – high confidence level does not necessarily mean high self-esteem – that needs a little more exploration

 4. Did you think that your happiness ratio is about right?

  • A. I’m not sure; it is hard to be objective because the value itself affected how I was feeling. Because my “happiness ratio” wasn’t higher, it made me feel as though I had “failed” in being happy, and my automatic response to that was to think that it was wrong. I felt like it should have been higher because I wanted it to be higher as an affirmation of “success”. Insofar as I can be objective about it, I think it is about right, or perhaps a little low. I think it would be more accurate if there was an extra category in the Importance section, something like “6 = extremely high”. I rated the importance of all factors as 4 or 5, so the tool wasn’t able to differentiate well between the categories in terms of which I thought were the most important 
  • B. Yes, the numbers that I obtained fluctuated a bit but seemed fairly accurate to how I feel these days 
  • C. Yes 
  • D. Yes 
  • E. Yes 
  • F. Yes – and I was surprised to see how consistent it remained even though the rating changed between categories each time I did them – very revealing

5. Did the exercise make you re-evaluate your understanding of happiness?

  • A. I don’t think I re-evaluated my understanding, but it did bring my focus back to where it should be, which is equally valuable. Even just reading the questions, before I got the results, made me refocus away from all the things I think are missing in my life and focus back on what I already have, what I really need, and what is really most important. I like that the first two questions asked about basics and health; that was very “grounding” 
  • B. It made me consider all the varying factors that contribute to happiness, and also be curious as to how other people rate those factors in relative importance to them 
  • C. No 
  • D. Yes, it makes you broaden your thinking about it 
  • E. No, as it was a quick exercise and I didn’t think too much as I was doing it 
  • F. I don’t know if it made me re-evaluate it but it certainly put it in perspective for me – just looking at different categories, it provided a lot of clarity for me as to what is important for me and if that’s where I am focusing on for improvements

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , ,

07 Jul 2011 1 Comment

Live Group Testing of the Happiness Tool in Los Angeles, CA

There were seven of us in Urth Cafe in Santa Monica at 7PM on Wednesday. Due to traffic I was a little stressed, but “Peace of mind” tea cured it all. I was pleasantly surprised with overall attendance: 6 people showed up from 10 RSVPs which is pretty high.

We gathered in the courtyard, where it is more quiet, plenty of shade and more space in comparison to the main room. After quick introduction, participants scattered around the courtyard and completed the forms with 20 questions.

While I was entering numbers from the first set of forms into the Excel file and calculating participants’ happiness ratios, they wrote questions about their obstacles of happiness.  We rotated the second set of  forms among participants, so that each of them had a chance to answer other people’s questions. The questions were about romantic life, work life balance, connecting to people better, etc.

At the end everyone received two forms back: one with their happiness ratio and the other with answers to their questions. We had a discussion and the feedback was most valuable. Kim enjoyed giving answers, while writing her own questions was hard.

Warren said that he tried to answer questions as best as he could because he knew how important it was for the other person and that person’s happiness depended on it. He also mentioned that it would be nice to do this test every morning, because it is a good check for someone’s life. Warren was surprised at the complexity of the test. Even though there were just twenty questions, they do cover all sources of happiness and the happiness ratio is correct.

I was asked “What does the ratio mean?” and the answer is “of everything you want for your happiness how much do you think you have right now”. I was curious if the exercise helped to focus on what participants have or what they don’t have. Kim said that for her it was about understanding how many good things she has in her life and about being grateful for them.

I explained that this assessment could work both ways: it could either direct you to lower your expectations or help achieve what you need the most in your life (being more proactive).

As we drove back my friend, who also participated in the event, said that she wrote a question and the answer was not new to her but it was reassuring to hear it from a stranger, which just reconfirmed that she really needs to do it and really focus on it. Imagine that 100 people read your question and gave you 100 great answers. Even  if you don’t act upon their recommendation, it is possible that  you will be happier simply because so many people care about you and your happiness.

It turned out that one of the participants Ricky has a great website Lifelong happiness, he gave us special bracelets, which are part of the 30 day challenge. I checked his website out after the event and was very impressed. All the content on the website is to help people to achieve happiness in life. One of the quotes is ”Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. ~Mother Teresa”

As for the testing of the tool in San Francisco that was planned for June 30, only one person showed up who happens to be my friend :)  We waited for the rest of the folks in Epicenter Cafe for about 40 minutes and then went to Udupi Palace for an Indian dinner. I didn’t get upset that others didn’t show up because I realized that on Thursday before the 4th of July many people may decide to travel or run last minute errands, so I was totally fine with having a dinner with my friend instead. But that same day he introduced me to a guy who was really interested in the tool and I promised to send it to him. If I can help one person learn something that will help him find his happiness I’m happy.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

13 Jun 2011 No Comments

Testing the Happiness Calculator

Before all categories in the tool were finalized, I was very curious about my own ratio of happiness and categories in the formula. I predicted about 5 categories in mine, but as I went through the first exercise, that was not the case.

On Day 1 my happiness ratio was 85%, which was higher than I expected. I thought that one category that I’m not satisfied with would outweigh others, but it didn’t because I value several other categories just as high in priority. Even though sometimes I grouch about something, it means that I keep forgetting how blessed I’m with other things in life and I can’t take them for granted.  

I took a moment and imagined some scenarios… I would not be as happy if that one category was high on my satisfaction scale, but low on priority, or if some other categories were low in satisfaction, because I know they are my high priorities, like friends, health, environment, etc. My results varied slightly daily, and I’m sure that they would vary more if I measured my happiness monthly! At the end of the week I got really curious about my feelings on the days of measurements, and I reconstructed my activities that week.

On Day 1, my ratio was 85% and I worked at home all day and didn’t even have time to go out.

On Day 2 , though, I interacted with a lot of people: went rollerblading with a group of friends and had a nice dinner, laughed a lot, but my happiness ratio went down to 82%, and I think mainly because there were moments  of melancholy that day when I thought about that one damn category.

On Day 3, I went to work and after work I wrote a blog post and worked more on promoting the meet-up event in Boston on June 22, contacting some people and … my happiness ratio was at 87% that day. I didn’t work out, I didn’t have good food, I didn’t’ spend time with friends or family,  I just worked on my Project after work and that gave me my boost of happiness.

On Day 4, I played with the tool by building constraints and expanding limits. I decided to only include 5 categories in my formula, so I picked 5 the most important ones.  My happiness ratio plummeted to 69%. I changed importance scale from 0-4 to 0-5, so I had to answer all questions again.

There were some shocking results. (When I answer questions , I hide previous answers, so that I don’t get distracted by my old answers). My happiness changed in just 5 minutes by +1%! Just in minutes my importance of hobbies to my happiness went  down by 66%! It is funny, that I changed my mind about some categories so quickly and I didn’t remember how I rated them only minutes ago.

Main lesson learned: try to be as honest as possible when answering questions, because your mind will play games with you, so listen to your heart.

Lastly, I was curious to create graphs for each category, and I did it. On Day 6 I wanted to know why I felt one way or another and wished I wrote down my thoughts on low points and highlights of categories…

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , ,