meditation

14 Mar 2012 No Comments

Shamatha Yoga

Three years ago I completed three levels of Shambhala training levels 1-3: The Art of Being Human, Birth of a Warrior and Warrior in the World. There was no fighting but extensive meditating. I learned how to quiet my mind. I also enjoyed Shamatha yoga that you can do anywhere and it only takes several minutes.

Shamatha yoga is a simple series of nine yoga postures developed by Sakyong  Mipham Rinpoche during his retreat in India in Januray of 2002. They are designed to develop mindfulness as well as loosen the body during breaks from formal sitting meditation.

  1. Earth. Hands at sides, fingers pointed down. Palms inward, gaze down. Feel slightly separated, toes spread. Knees are not locked. Body scan: moving feet to head, relax each part of the body. Feeling of solidity.
  2. Greater Eastern Sun. Raise arms up outstretched, palms upward. Reach for sky, palms towards each other, shoulder-width apart. Look upwards.
  3. Gathering the Mind. From GES, bring hands together and down toward heart, to Anjali. Bodhicitta. Feel heart center.
  4. Offering. Forward bend from waist. Separate hands, arms circle slightly outward and down. Release. Stretch back and back of legs. Relax head and neck. Legs are straight and strong.
  5. Courage. From Offering, roll up through spine to standing. Hands on hips in warrior posture, as if to bow. Gaze forward.
  6. Warrior. Slide right foot forward, angle left foot out 45 degrees. Arms reach up, palms together. Look upwards. Right leg is bent, knee directly over front heel. Left leg is straight. Bring left hip forward. Step back to standing, hands on hips. Repent on left side.
  7. Four Directions. a. Hands on hips, legs spread and strengthened. Bow over, stretching to the front. b. Round up to standing. Lift up the heart, drop the head back. c. Return to standing. Turn right foot out to right, left foot turns in 45 degrees. Turn hips to right, fold torso over right leg. Keep weight evenly distributed in legs. Let head hang. Round up through spine to standing. Repeat on left side.
  8. Garuda. a. Begin with legs spread apart, toes facing forward. Arms extend to sides shoulder-height, palms down. b. Turn right foot out to right. Reach right hand out as far as possible, then bring down to right ankle or shin. Legs are straight and strengthened, palms face front. Look up to top hand. Come back slowly to standing, arms extended, palms down. Turn feet and repeat on left side. Come back slowly to standing. c. Twisting Garuda: Turn foot to right. Twist torso so left hand reaches for ankle or shin. Look upward to top hand. Strengthen legs and return to standing posture. Repeat on left side. Twists whole spine.
  9. Joining Heaven and Earth. Feet together. In one fluid motion: Raise arms out and up overhead, bring palms together, look up to thumbs, then hands come down, passing through Anjali to the hips, palms open at sides. Gaze is raised. Openness. Expansion.

See a demo of Shamatha yoga on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHiJLoLlBDw.

Note: As with many forms of discipline that involve bodily exercise, Shamatha yoga includes an inherent element of risk of personal injury. However you can prevent harm to your body by being careful at all times and avoiding or discontinuing any activity that causes you pain or physical distress. Individuals who have preexisting medical conditions must not undertake any exercise that could aggravate such conditions.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

03 Feb 2012 No Comments

Inner Peace (Part Two)

Soothsayer: The most important time is now. But if you really want to see the future.
Shen: Oh, what do you see?
Soothsayer: A peacock is defeated by a warrior of black and white. Nothing has changed.
Shen: That’s impossible, and you know it.
Soothsayer: It is not impossible, and he knows it.
Shen: Who?

Wolf Boss: Lord Shen, I saw a panda!
Shen: A panda! There are no more panda’s.
Soothsayer: Even with his poor eye sight, he can see the truth. Why is it that you cannot?

[after failing at his attempts to go stealth mode to get closer to the palace]
Monkey: So that was stealth mode, huh?
Po: Uh…to be honest, not one of my stronger modes.

Master Ox: It’s time to surrender, panda. Kung Fu is dead. [in despair]
Po: I…ooh…you…you…! Kung Fu is de…ad! Fine! You stay in your prison of fear, with bars made of hopelessness. And all you get are three square meals a day of shame!
Master Croc: With despair for dessert.
Po: We’ll take on Shen. And prove to all those who are hungry for justice and honor, that Kung Fu still lives! [a boar in one of the prison cells shouts bleakly]
Boar: Yeah!

Po: Nothing’s unstoppable except for me when I’m stopping you from telling me something’s unstoppable!

Master Shifu: Remember dragon warrior, when you follow the noble path, anything is possible.

[as the guerrilla guards are chaining Po and the others]
Crane: You can chain my body. But you will never chain my …warrior spirit!

Soothsayer: The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. It is time to stop this madness.
Shen: Why on earth would I do that?
Soothsayer: So your parents can rest in peace.
Shen: My parents hated me. Do you understand? They wronged me. And I will make it right.
Soothsayer: They loved you. They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.
Shen: The dead exist in the past. And I must attend to the future.

Po: No more running, Shen!
Shen: So it seems.
Po: Now, answers.
Shen: Oh, you want to know so badly. You think knowing will heal you, huh? Fill some crater in your soul? Well here’s your answer. Your parents didn’t love you.
[Po looks grief stricken]
Shen: But here, let me heal you.
[he releases a cannon from his weapon shooting straight into Po]

[after Po has defeated all the cannon balls thrown at him and destroyed Shen's ships

Shen: How did you...how did you do it?
Po: You know, you just keep your elbows up and keep the shoulders loose.
Shen: Not that! How did you find peace? I took away your parents. Everything! I...I scarred you for life.
Po: See, that's the thing, Shen. Scars heal.
Shen: No, they don't. Wounds heal.
Po: Oh, yeah. What do scars do? They fade I guess.
Shen: I don't care what scars do.
Po: You should, Shen. You've gotta let go of that stuff from the past, cause it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.
Shen: You're right. Then I choose...this!
[he suddenly draws his sword and swings it at Po]

[after he's finally defeated Shen]
Shifu: It seems you have found inner peace. At such a young age!
Po: Well, I had a pretty good teacher.
Mr. Ping: So, how did it go? Did you save China?
Po: Yep.
Mr. Ping: Well, I knew you would. That’s why I had new signs made.
[holds up the sign with Po's picture on it]
Mr. Ping: My son saved China. You too can save. Buy one dumpling, get one free!

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , ,

02 Feb 2012 No Comments

Inner Peace (Part One)

To my great surprise I found so much wisdom in the animated “Kung Fu Panda 2” comedy film that I saw the other day. The theme of it is Inner Peace. I want to say big Thank you to its female Director Jennifer Yuh Nelson for creating such a masterpiece. I am sure the film will win Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. See the film to learn full story, but for now enjoy my favorite passages and savor them:

[meditating]
Shifu: Inner peace. Inner peace
[suddenly we hear Po approaching loudly in the background]
Shifu: Ahh! Inner peace.
Po: Master Shifu? Master Shifu? What have we got? Pirates? Vandals of volcano mountain? Whatever it is, I will take them down. Cause I am in a mood. I need to get somethin’ done. You know what I mean?
[Shifu ignore Po and continues meditating with his eyes closed]
Po: Uh..what are you doing?
Shifu: One of master Oogway’s final teachings.

[Master Shifu carefully handles a water droplet and lets it go onto to a leaf intact]
Po: How did you do that?
Shifu: Inner peace.
Po: Inner peace. That’s cool! Inner peace of what?
Shifu: It is the next phase of your training. Every master must find his path to inner peace. Some choose to meditate for fifty years in a cave just like this, without the slightest taste of food or water.
[Po's stomach makes a loud growling noise]
Po: Or?
Shifu: Some find it through pain and suffering, as I did. Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior, was the worst day of my life. By far, nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful, mind destroying, horrible moment…
Po: Okay.
Shifu: …I have ever experienced.
[he shudders at the thought of it]

Shifu: But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace. And was able to harness the flow of the universe.
Po: So that’s it? I just need inner peace? My innards are already super, super peaceful. So all I need to do is just get this thing going. Inner peace? You’re goin’ down! Now show me what you were doing there with your feet? I saw you do sorta fancy foot thing?

Po: How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?

Master Shifu: Remember, Dragon Warrior, anything is possible when you have inner peace.

Soothsayer: Your story may not have such a happy beginning but that doesn’t make you who you are, it is the rest of your story, who you choose to be.

Tigress: The mast is not a worthy opponent.

Tigress: Po, why are you really out here?
Po: I just found out that my dad isn’t really my dad.
Tigress: Your dad, the goose? Must have been quite a shock.
Po: Yeah.
Tigress: And this bothers you?
Po: Are you kiddin’ me? We’re warriors, right? Nerves of steel! Souls of platinum! Like you! So hard core you don’t feel anything.

Tigress: The hardcore do understand, but I can’t watch my friend be killed.

Po: I’m not freaking out, I’m freakin in!

Soothsayer: Stop fighting. Just let it flow.

Soothsayer: If you continue on your current path, you will find yourself…at the bottom of the stairs. I see…I see…I see….pain!
Shen: Ow!
Soothsayer: And anger.
Shen: How dare you! That is the finest silk in the province!
Soothsayer: Followed by denial.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , ,

20 Nov 2011 1 Comment

Overcoming Obstacles and Negative Emotions

To engage in spiritual practices is to be reminded of temporal nature of life/death. Preciousness of human existence is at the core. Determination to action arises with sense of urgency, so that people may forget to be hungry and tired, but work on solving the issue.

When there is some sense of urgency you feel you must act and use every minute to overcome apathy to be aware of destructive effects of negative behavior. We want to change, but become accustomed/adapt to things and situations. Genuine change doesn’t happen overnight, but we can establish new behavior and new habits.

Strong driving mechanisms sustain and motivate us:

  • Biological needs for survival
  • Needs for information
  • Needs for success, power, achievement, spirituality, interaction

We are born in ignorance state but with education we can control negative states of mind (delusions) which afflict from within.

There are 3 main premises in Buddhism:

1.All states of mind are distorted reality.

2.Negative emotions are based on ignorance. Positive emotions are grounded, you can practice them and grow. Positive states of mind are antidotes of inflictive states of mind. The wisdom factor is true nature of reality.

3.Essential nature of mind is pure, clear light (Buddha nature).

This view is different from Western psychiatry as negative states are not natural in Buddhism. We can change our brain by practicing positive emotions, by cultivating them. We change our conditioning when we replace negative with positive emotions.

Anger and hatred are greatest obstacles of compassion. While anger in short –term could be useful, hatred is always negative, because your presence of mind and power of judgment disappear completely.

You should never let hatred within you, but cultivate antidotes like patience and tolerance which become forgiveness. Analyze proper response (constructive and destructive). Let go of your sense of anger and resentment because they just cause disturbance in your mind. It is not a sign of weakness but strength to have a self-disciplined mind, humility without retaliation is a strong stand out of compassion.

Human Potential

We have potential for Enlightenment, Buddha state, potential to deal with any difficulty. Religion should help remove suffering – not be source of it. Spirituality is a process of mental development.

There are two ways to realize human potential:

  1. Religion. Religious prayers are reminders how to deal with people and problems. Spirituality is not about reciting prayers/practice. It is about mindfulness: restrain yourself, when you want to hurt someone. Every experience is a learning experience; every person in your life is your teacher.
  2. Humanity(non-religious). Kindness, compassion, caring. Basic spirituality – goodness, this spirituality is essential. Religion has limited values, but humanity is universal.

Meditation to achieve stillness:

I will maintain a state without thoughts, withdraw mind inward, not chase thoughts, but come to full state of alertness, mindfulness, and consciousness and remain in natural, nurture state, like river or glass of water with clarity and luminosity. Finish with 3 rounds of breathing.

From the book The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

17 Sep 2011 1 Comment

The Law of Attraction in Action

Deanna Davis has a good book with practical tips and tools on how to apply the Law of Attraction to our life.

In her interpretation of the law the main steps are:

1.Choose your state

2.State your intention

3.Take inspired action

Choose your state – consciously decide how you want to feel emotionally and where you want to direct your attention. Take consistent steps to regularly create a favorable emotional state.

Techniques:

Beyond Polyanna

Thanks! A lot! (explain why and what happened today, episode that made you feel grateful, recount why this was important to you)

Gratitude exercise (Counting your blessings, Gratitude journaling, Gratitude letter, Wealth walk, The power shower, Abundance practices)

Spacemakers (release negative thoughts and replace with positive thoughts)

Peace of mind meditation, Emotional freedom technique (EFT), Sedona (The invitation)

Set your intention – sift through your references and possibilities to determine what you want to experience in your life. Make a decision to think and act in a way that will create the outcome that you want. Than focus again on choosing your state to align yourself with that intention.

Intention creates the blueprint from which you can build your life. You are the key instrument in identifying, setting, and acting on your intention. Unless you make decision that things will be different, they most decidedly wont’ be.

You need to make a decision to move your desire from the landscape of your mind into the realm of reality.

There is a realm of preferences and possibilities, you need to know your preferences and examine possibilities. Preferences are just a matter of what we like, what we appreciate, and what we’d like to experience even more of. Your ability to effectively explore the possibilities related to your preferences is directly proportional to your ability to maintain a beginner’s mind.

Expectations often precede experience. Intention is steeped in certainty – it is a decision to manifest something meaningful in your life. The decision comes from a sense of hope and eagerness, and is centered in certainty that want you want is not only possible, not only probable, but inevitable.

Techniques:

You are here and hierarchy of needs worksheet

Sifting strategies: I desire worksheet, shopping cart, mind movie

Affirmations, Vision boards and Believing is seeing exercise (meditation)

Take inspired action– from a place of calm and silence, ask yourself, “What is my next best step?” and act on it immediately with joy and energy. Once again, choose your state and provide momentum for your inspired action and to prepare you to move on to your next intention.

It emerges from a series of five simple steps: quieting your mind, asking simple questions about next steps, taking initiative in the form of immediate action, gaining momentum with consistent progress and reflecting on and building on that progress to sustain continued success. Release your resistance. Silence your mind and take small steps.

In order to move forward in life, you need to take inspired action consistently. You have to be willing to shift your focus from what you have seen in the past and what is in front of you now if you want to see the beautiful vistas that are waiting for you just beyond the horizon.

Techniques:

All about the ask (What is my next step?)

Proof of progress (catalogue and evidence your accomplishments)

Two S – supercharge (create structure/systems and support)

Rhyming reminders (Tweak of the week, Go with the flow, Snuggle the struggle)

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

16 Sep 2011 1 Comment

The Secret and The Law of Attraction

There are several books on the law of attraction and I want to give you a quick comparison of two approaches.
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne:

Three steps are:
1. Ask
2. Believe that you receive it and feel good
3. Receive

You must know exactly what you want and ask for it.
Sounds easy, but it may not be. Your conscious and subconscious minds are filled with wants, desires, and fears. What you want needs to be exact. You cannot just think that you want to be rich. You must have a tangible goal, such as “I want to sell 20 copies of my new book in 10 days”. Make sure that your actions follow your thoughts. You cannot just think of selling the books, you must actually have a book that you are proud of and that people will want to buy.

You must believe that what you want is already yours.
This creates positive energy. If you can visualize the action as having already happened this will complete an important part of the process.

You must be in a state of mind to receive.
Energy flows where energy goes. We are one, we are all connected, part of one energy field, one creative source. It is absolute perfection. Divine mind is the one and only reality.
Negative thoughts are the cause of fear. Competition is the example of separation, there is enough for everyone, no limits.
Become a creative mind. Whether you think you can or you can’t do something either way you are right. There is a law of supply, of infinite supply. And Universe is a supplier of everything.
You are not your past, you have all the power within you. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. So what are you going to do now? Chose now.

The Law of Attraction by Abraham- Jerry and Esther Hicks:
There are three main laws:
1. The law of attraction – you attract your thoughts
2. The law of deliberate creation – visualize what you want to receive intentionally
3. The law of allowing – allow others and yourself receive what they and you want

There are three main steps in the Law of Attraction:
1. Identify your desire
2. Give your desire attention
3. Allow
Affirmations from Abraham:
I want perfect health
I want prosperity
I want great relationships
I am wanting to attract those who are in harmony with me – physical and non- physical
I am growth seeking being
I am healthy
I am happy
I am prosperous
I am interacting with those who are in harmony
I am full of joy

And my favorite affirmations from “The help” movie:

I am smart

I am kind

I am important

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Highlights of The Law of Attraction by Abraham

15 Sep 2011 No Comments

Highlights of The Law of Attraction by Abraham

“You measure success in trophies, but from our perspective the positive emotion that you feel is the greatest measure of success. As you want something and achieve it, you also achieve a new prospective from which you will want. The things that satisfied you before, will not likely satisfy you for very long, because you are inherently grand seeking, you can’t remain in the same place and have growth also. The way you feel is your indicator, let your emotions will be your guide. They are the most wonderful guidance systems.

We see the majority spend the most of their life seeking for set of rules against which they can measure their life experience, looking outside themselves for those who would tell them what is right or wrong. While they have within themselves a guidance system that is so sophisticated, intricate, precise, appropriate, system that can analyze in an instant everything that they are wanting to be from total perspective, from current physical conscious perspective and everything that is taking place around them in the current environment and offer them an emotion to let them know the appropriateness of whatever that is happening. The appropriate of every thought, word, every interaction, such a wonderful guidance system, not utilized, but by a few of you. It is our reason for interacting with you to acquaint you with the total you so that you may begin utilizing that broader, fuller, wiser, all knowing perspective, so that you may use God force from within for the creating.

Why you are here and how to be with what you have intended, each of you from your non-physical perspective before you emerged into this physical expression of life intended to have growth, and you intended to access this guidance system from within to assist you in your growth, and we have come forth to remind you that it exists and to teach or offer you a process. There is great love here.

Here is an exercise that will assist you in your deliberate creating.  Take three separate pieces of paper, and at the top of each page write one thing that you want, now take your first paper and beneath the subject of what you are wanting, write these are the reason that I want these. Write whatever comes to you mind, whatever flows naturally, do not try to force it. And when nothing more comes, you are complete for now. Turn the paper over and begin writing at the top of the paper, these are the reasons that I believe that I will have these that I want. The first side of the paper is enhancing what you are wanting. The first side of the equation.  The second side of the paper is enhancing your belief that you will have it. And as you have written why you want what you want and why you know that you will have that you want, you have set force and now expecting and therefore will receive the subject of your wanting.

All that is necessary is that you are wanting and keep expecting until you have it and it will be yours. Select only three things that you are wanting. For there will be more power of focus. Eventually when you understand the process, you will be able to simultaneously create in many directions. Before you will experience something in your physical life experience you must first give thought to it. Your thought is the invitation and without it it will not come. We are encouraging intentional deciding of what is wanted and intentionally giving thought to those things that are wanted, while you are intentionally not giving thought to those things that are not wanted. And in suggesting this we encourage that you set force some time in every day where you sit and intentionally bring together thoughts into a sort of vision of what you are wanting in your life experience, we have been referring to this time as your work shop for deliberate creating.

If we were to say go now and begin to envision yourself in the life experience that you are wanting, many of you would have  a difficult time doing that, for you have not been intentionally collecting the data, in which to work upon in your workshop. By collecting data what we are encouraging is that every day as you are getting out of bed, you set forth intention that no matter what you are doing this day, no matter who interact with to today, you will let your dominant intention to be to look for things that you like, whatever it is that you see, if you are intending to look for things that you like then you will be effectively and deliberately collecting the data. Tomorrow, when you decide to take 15-20 min to go to your workshop which is the place where all deliberate creating begins. You can bring together the combinations of that data to begin envision yourself in your life as you want to be.

We have told you that your thoughts are magnetic. But we are wanting to add a point of clarification here, that while every thought has creative potential that the thoughts that do not have great emotion at the same time are not bringing in to your experience with any sort of speed the subject of your thoughts. That what you are emotional about those thoughts are quickly manifesting into your physical experience. The emotion that you feel is your communication letting you know that you have now accessed the power of the Universe. That power from the Universe comes forth when you are clearest in your thought.”

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , ,

03 Sep 2011 No Comments

The Happy Movie Review

Another highlight of the 119th American Psychology Convention in Washington, DC was the “Happy” movie.  It was full of lessons, cutting edge findings and real life examples. Some things I already knew but to see them again as a confirmation of my knowledge on this topic was very uplifting. There were a lot of quotes from happiness studies and at the same time it was engaging and moving. And yes, I was taking notes, wiping off my tears during the most sad parts and savoring every moment of “Happy”.

Several books on happiness and their authors were mentioned, including Happiness and How to measure it, Flourish, Anatomy of an epidemic, etc.

Current research shows that in our happiness:

50% – genetic, 10% – circumstances, 40% – intentional (you choose)

Variety is a spice of life, so we should try different things, and various things make us happy.  For some it is physical activity or being close to nature, for others – spending time with their children or pursuing a hobby. Being engaged in a flow is what makes us happy. Example, fulfilling your creativity need by composing music.

Daniel Gilbert says “you can’t predict happiness”, so you might as well enjoy what you like now instead of chasing what you think might make you happy tomorrow.

The most shocking moment of the movie was a story of a beautiful woman, who got into a car accident and was severely injured, especially her face. Some people spend their lives trying to understand why … “why did it happen to me?”, others say – “I don’t need to understand, I just need to make a choice to move on”.

That woman was able to find courage to continue with her life and take care of her child, even though she lost her husband. She found courage to live, to move on, even though it was not easy, and now she is married again and her husband calls her pretty.

The most important is close support of family and friends, not focus on external (image, status, money), but intrinsic values (personal growth, relationship, community, meaning, change the world).

Speaking of values, a lot of it has to do with cultural background. Japan is the least happy among most developed nations. And it turns out that they cultivate Karōshi (過労死) – work to death or jobs for life or death. So people literary become workaholics to the detriment of their own health and wellbeing. In a culture like that people need to create support for anyone who wants to be happy, they need mass media to avert attention from material success to success of a different kind. Otherwise they compromise happiness of all of their citizens. GDP is not enough, there should be other measures to help understand life and what is really important. If not happiness it could be contentment.

What is the most happy country on Earth? Is it Bhutan that really cares about spirituality, physical exercise, community and human/nature balance? Or is it Denmark with free education and medicine, and popular co-housing communities with shared amenities and values?

In contract to the main island of Japan, one community in Okinawa is a small one. There is something different about it. They have a big number of over 100 year olds. They sleep a lot, farm, drink sake, talk to grandkids, give vegetables to neighbors, communicate with others via dance, music, getting together for tea. In that village they are one family. “When you meet someone for the first time you are already brothers and sisters. We really see with our hearts.” Happiness is having a lot of friends. It is social interaction.

I found another review of this movie and the episode about Benicia middle school is best described here:

“One especially moving section of the film for me was a demonstration of how love and connectedness can replace bullying in a school.  Michael Pritchard, an emotional healer and stand-up comic, was shown giving a class on cultivating emotional intelligence to an assembly of middle-school children.  He asked students to get up and tell their feelings about being bullied.  As a result, there was an immediate and profound transformation from separateness to connectedness in the whole room.” Indeed, we all win together.

One volunteer in India said that fashion is not important to him anymore, sweetness is in helping someone, meaning is in what he does and that it is important for others. Life is precious, when someone cares about you.

We can change our brain and its reaction by education and experiences to learn love. Gratitude journals, acts of kindness, loving kindness meditation… Complete interdependence with each other and nature, laughter, the value of compassion… When we cultivate them – we can change our brain. There is more in life and to life.

It is all about gratitude, compassion, love, altruism and building blocks of happiness. Check it out for yourselves: http://www.thehappymovie.com/

At the end of the movie, the formula for happiness was mentioned, simply that every person will find its own. I was really happy to hear that as I’m working exactly on the customized version of the formula so I wanted to talk to the Happy team about it. To my surprise the young man I spoke to was very unenthusiastic and skeptical, he said that too many people approach the team with the same idea, they all claim that they found the right formula and it’s the only one and that they want it to be mentioned in the movie or promoted somehow. The Happy team guy thinks that it is impossible to measure every person’s happiness and do it in one formula correctly…Even though I tried to explain my approach, he quickly dismissed it.  

He said if you want to help promote the movie, feel free. I already did it voluntarily by posting a note on my blog and by coming to the Convention just to see the movie as I knew it would be featured. I wish the director Roko Belic was there so that I could talk to him instead. For now, I’m still perfecting my formula for happiness to be ready for the big audience and correctly measure our state of happiness. Yes, we can measure our happiness and increase it. Stay tuned :)

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

18 Aug 2011 1 Comment

Forgiveness Class (Part Five)

Last Class. As I was walking to the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center last Thursday, I felt it was about time to wrap it up.

The week before I went to the American Psychologists Conference in Washington, DC, where I saw movie “Happy” and several other movies about healing techniques used by psychologists and about human mind. That trip reconfirmed that relationships are the most important thing in our life. Overall I felt overwhelmed with all experiences and wanted some rest. With all that I walked in and sat down to meditate with no expectations whatsoever.

We did the same meditation that was in the second class that I missed. It had 3 parts:

1) I ask forgiveness from those whom I intentionally or unintentionally hurt.

2) I forgive myself for intentionally or unintentionally hurting myself.

3) I extend my forgiveness to those who through activity or inactivity, intentionally or unintentionally hurt or harmed me out of fear, pain, anger or confusion.

I focused on my body and my breathing, I wanted to love myself. I remembered one phrase from “The Secret”: “I’ve known myself for 44 years and I love myself, I want to kiss myself”. It was so strange to hear coming from a male, that I remembered it.  I was just sitting and concentrating on my body, my organs and cells, craving for more love from me. And suddenly it came, the flow of love inside me for everyone around including me.

In this part of the meditation we had to imagine persons whom we hurt intentionally or unintentionally and ask for their forgiveness. For some reason the person I can’t forgive came to my mind. Don’t I have enough love for them? I thought that I might have hurt them unintentionally and they suffered. I imagined them vulnerable, helpless, trying to find their own inner peace, and acting out on their own discomfort.  I only saw a weak person not the offender. Suddenly my heart opened. The block was gone and pain was released. I wanted to extend all my love to them, help them and make them happy. I don’t have to protect myself from them and make sure it doesn’t repeat again. What happened a while ago was just a hurting moment but the rest of my life seems like the Universe or infinity. I can’t poison my body, my life and all around me with negative thoughts and artificially created barriers. I hugged that person in my mind, and I couldn’t stop my tears. I accepted them, the past act, the love between us, and that we are all humans who make mistakes.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , ,

11 Aug 2011 No Comments

Forgiveness Class (Part One)

My friend told me about Forgiveness class at the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center. We decided to attend, as we both want to learn wisdom of forgiveness.  The course consists of 5 sessions – 5 Thursday classes 7-8:30PM.

This is what class description says:

We can make a choice to cultivate forgiveness. It is the act of not throwing someone out of our hearts. Forgiveness is a way to see, understand and let go of the pain, anger, guilt and resentment that we carry from harm that was done to us or by us. Forgiveness cannot change our past but can change the present.

In this practice group we will explore what it means to forgive ourselves, to forgive others and to ask others to forgive us. We will use formal meditation practices on forgiveness, as well as discussion and reflection.

First session was four weeks ago. There were about 12 people in class. We started off with meditation. Some people were sitting on cushions, some – on chairs. I do have difficulty with managing my thoughts- “flying horses”, and as a result – difficulty to focus on the NOW instead of the past or the future.

The instructor showed up and gave us introduction to what is going to happen. She read some definitions and good quotes about forgiveness, like “Forgiveness is releasing your pain from the past” or “Give up your hopes of a better past.” She also made sure that we know when people should not forgive, which means that there are exceptions (ex. if  someone is being abused currently, it  is important to find safety first).  Then there are other stages of dealing with emotions before you get to the forgiveness step. After we all introduced each other, it became clear that all of us in the room were there because it is not easy for us to either forgive or get forgiveness from other people or ourselves. I felt that I’m not alone, but with people who feel my pain.

When we got the exercise of coming up with definitions of what forgiveness is not, I blanked. The same with stories about forgiveness. I just couldn’t think of any examples of forgiveness stories just because it is not the subject  I’m savvy about or comfortable with. That is why I’m in that class! I told that I tend to avoid or exclude people from my life when I think they hurt me. But when it was time to share a forgiveness story,  my mind dug through the memory closets and was finally able to pull one story about my experience with  Men are from Mars, Women from Venus book. At the end of the book there was a section of suggested exercises and I did one which was a Love letter, that I had to write to someone. I intended to write one about my ex-bf or about my sister,  but strangely enough I wrote it to my mother, forgiving her for what I held against her for many years and it did release my pain that was still inside me. I realized that her wish for me to be perfect was because she wanted me to be better and more pretty, more clever, more successful than her, but being perfectionist has its consequences. Or leads to excessive self-criticism and feeling that no matter what you do is never good enough. And it finished with a thought that it is Ok tobe  imperfect, to make mistakes, it is ok to be you the way you are.

Later in that first session we did another exercise –meditation with envisioning people we have hard time to forgive. I struggled because there was internal resistance to meditating, as I tried to soften about certain people but it was still hard to open my heart. It was shut. I was not upset about it , I just acknowledged that feeling of resistance. But I wanted if not reconcile with them, at least not to hold that resentment about them.

The instructor told us a story about a Cambodian monk. After the massacre of Cameron Rouge, the monk visited village after village and repeated the same statement: “hatred could never be cured with hatred, but only love”. When he was asked how could he find courage and be able to visit so many places and talk to victims to help them heal, he always responded with the same phrase: “I was just making peace with myself.”

Homework: #1.

Practice noticing what stands in the way of forgiveness. Begin to experience in the body how our willingness or unwillingness to forgive feels. Bring a nonjudgmental awareness to any resistance that arises while you practice forgiveness. We do this to see clearly and enable us to experience resistance for what it is. For example, notice how your body is reacting when someone cuts you off.

Later that night I told another story about forgiveness to my friend and was amazed that I do know stories it is just they are buried inside me, as I don’t practice this topic much. But then I thought about someone important who I can’t forgive and I thought that maybe I did hurt that person too, that is why they reacted certain way I couldn’t forgive for more than a year.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , ,

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