resilience

I Have Resisted Change

A Sunday Poem

I have resisted change with all my will …

Cried out to life, “Pass by life and leave me still.”

Bit I have found as I have trudged time’s track

That all my wishing will not hold life back.

I cannot bid the merest moment “stay.”

So finding I have no power to change change

I have changed my self. Adn this is strange.

But I have  found when I let change come,

The very change that I was fleeing from

Has often held the good I had prayed for,

And I was not the less for change, but more.

Once I accepted life and was not loathe to change

I found change was the seed of growth.

~ James Dillet Freeman, American Unity minister, author and poet (1912-2003)

The Fighter

I fight a battle every day
Against discouragement and fear;
Some foe stands always in my way,
The path ahead is never clear!
I must forever be on guard
Against the doubts that skulk along;
I get ahead by fighting hard,
But fighting keeps my spirit strong.

I hear the croakings of Despair,
The dark predictions of the weak;
I find myself pursued by Care,
No matter what the end I seek;
My victories are small and few,
It matters not how hard I strive;
Each day the fight begins anew,
But fighting keeps my hopes alive.

My dreams are spoiled by circumstance,
My plans are wrecked by Fate or Luck;
Some hour, perhaps, will bring my chance,
But that great hour has never struck;
My progress has been slow and hard,
I’ve had to climb and crawl and swim,
Fighting for every stubborn yard,
But I have kept in fighting trim.

I have to fight my doubts away,
And be on guard against my fears;
The feeble croaking of Dismay
Has been familiar through the years;
My dearest plans keep going wrong,
Events combine to thwart my will,
But fighting keeps my spirit strong,
And I am undefeated still!

~ Samuel Ellsworth Kiser, American poet (1862-1942)

Worth While

It is easy enough to be pleasant

   When life flows by like a song,

But the man worth while is the one who will smile

   When everything goes dead wrong.

For the test of the heart is trouble,

   And it always comes with the years,

And the smile that is worth the praises of earth

   Is the smile that shines through tears.

It is easy enough to be prudent

   When nothing tempts you to stray,

When without or within no voice of sin

   Is luring your soul away;

But it’s only a negative virtue

   Until it is tried by fire,

And the life that is worth the honour on earth

   Is the one that resists desire.

By the cynic, the sad, the fallen,

   Who had no strength for the strife,

The world’s highway is cumbered to-day—

   They make up the sum of life;

But the virtue that conquers passion,

   And the sorrow that hides in a smile—

It is these that are worth the homage on earth,

   For we find them but once in a while.

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox, American poet (1850-1919)

Your Life Is Your Life

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” By Charles Bukowski

 
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
@Charles Bukowski

Heal With Me

I’d like to tell you about something very special I discovered recently. It is the Gateway – a portal for growth and wellness that organizes the following event: “Heal w/Me” a Free Healing Clinic for the Homeless c/o UnitedSteps & The GATEWAY”

Dec 31, 2011 at the Yahoo Center, Santa Monica, CA
In Grateful Collaboration with Numerous Gracious Practitioners from The GATEWAY and others of their own accord & United Steps and Affiliates we are connecting with the Homeless & Underprivileged on this Shared HoBo (= Homeward Bound) Journey.

10AM to 3PM, Practitioners are offering services at no charge to those without a home or funds to spare on this journey we are all on. Homeless clients have been invited and their transport is being coordinated by United Steps.  Please invite any you know or see and greet…
~ Light Snacks and Water Served for Clients as supplies last (seeking sponsors to donate more snacks and drinks) ~
~ Live Vocal Entertainment (seeking folks to fill live entertainment slots) ~

The Roster of Practitioners Rendering Specialties Includes (by the way if you or anyone you know would like to be paired up with a homeless person as a one-to-one friend, we are seeking you as well, give us a contact to book yourself as such):
1) Medical Intuition and Healing with Sarah Larsen MD http://drsarahlarsen.com/, 2) Hands on Healing and Spiritual Counseling with Olivia Bareham, 3) Reflexology with Charles Haywood, 4) Theta Healing with Regine Vavasseur  http://www.heartspaceenergyhealing.com/Theta_Healing.html, 5) Acupuncture and Allergy Treatments with Chantaal Lebay L.Ac. http://thegatewayport…, 6) Clear Light Healing with Dianne Rini www.clearlighthealing-drini.com, 7) Massage with Joey Esposito http://www.bioenergist.com/ and LeeAnn Christian, 8) Energy Healing with Nora Delgado http://www.noradelgado.com/, 9) Breathwork with Achaessa James, 10) Mental Health Counseling, Healing and Tarot Cards with Ron Holman, Ph.D., MFT holmangroup.com, 11) Bowen Therapy with Jin Quan, 12) Soul Drawing with Kayla Leung,

13) Sound Healing with Natalie Koltz http://www.nataliekoltz.com/, 14) Reconnection Healing with Danielle Duval, 15) Energy Healing with Ellany http://www.touchingbodynsoul.com/, 16) EFT and NLP with Elaine McBroom, 17) Reiki with Jennifer, 18) Trigger Point Pain Relief with Art San http://www.thepaineraser.net/Meet-Art-San.html, 19) Readings with Psychic Jude http://www.psychicjude.com/, 20) Angel Card Readings with Ellany http://www.touchingbodynsoul.com/, 21) Hand and Angel Readings and Energy Healings with Lisa Martin, 22) Energy Work with Joseph Eng http://lightworkerjoseph.com/sample-page/,  23) Many there to Befriend, All Welcome, 24) Volunteer Help: Heidi, Jack Bowman…

Questions? Call The GATEWAY / a Portal for Growth & Wellness at 310 * 479* 0430 | heart-to-heart@thegatewayportal.com Explain the role you wish to take, while also contact us by phone to finalize. Our official website is http://thegatewayportal.com/
Please enjoy viewing the love and healing on this day and monthly Heal with Me Events on

YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5nzmy0pGgM&feature=pl…

Feedback: I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of organization, practitioners, and volunteers that helped put this event together. I wanted to get a massage myself, but felt that it was more of a day of giving that receiving. I ended up realizing that I do more than just give relaxing Swedish massages. I found out that I can help heal people both mentally, psychologically , and physically by listening to their needs and giving extra attention and care to the parts of them that need healing.

I’m planning to create a resilience workshop and offer it at the next clinic and also at http://www.dwcweb.org/.

‘Failure Week’ to Build Resilience

A top girls’ school is planning a “failure week” to teach pupils to embrace risk, build resilience and learn from their mistakes.

The emphasis will be on the value of having a go, rather than playing it safe and perhaps achieving less.

Pupils at Wimbledon High School will be asked how they feel when they fail.

The headmistress, Heather Hanbury, said she wanted to show “it is completely acceptable and completely normal not to succeed at times in life.”

Ms Hanbury’s pupils achieve some of the highest exam scores – but from Monday they will be invited to focus on failure.

There will be workshops, assemblies, and activities for the girls, with parents and tutors joining in with tales of their own failures.

There will be YouTube clips of famous and successful people who have failed along the way and moved on.

The emphasis will be discussions on the merits of failure and on the negative side of trying too hard not to fail.

‘Courage in the classroom’

Ms Hanbury told BBC News that she had placed a great emphasis on developing resilience and robustness among the girls since she arrived at the school four years ago.

“The girls need to learn how to fail well – and how to get over it and cope with it,” she said.

“Fear of failing can be really crippling and stop the girls doing things they really want to do.”

“The pupils are hugely successful but can sometimes overreact to failure even though it can sometimes be enormously beneficial to them.”

“We want them to be brave – to have courage in the classroom,” she added.

Wimbledon High is an independent school, part of the Girls’ Day School Trust.

GDST chief executive, Helen Fraser, said: “Resilience is so important in working life these days.”

“Wimbledon High School is showing how making mistakes is not necessarily a bad thing, that it is fine to try – and fail – and then pick yourself up and try again – or as Samuel Beckett said, ‘fail better’.”

Re-posted from ‘Failure week’ at top girls’ school to build resilience by By Judith Burns, BBC News

Inner Peace (Part Two)

Soothsayer: The most important time is now. But if you really want to see the future.
Shen: Oh, what do you see?
Soothsayer: A peacock is defeated by a warrior of black and white. Nothing has changed.
Shen: That’s impossible, and you know it.
Soothsayer: It is not impossible, and he knows it.
Shen: Who?

Wolf Boss: Lord Shen, I saw a panda!
Shen: A panda! There are no more panda’s.
Soothsayer: Even with his poor eye sight, he can see the truth. Why is it that you cannot?

[after failing at his attempts to go stealth mode to get closer to the palace]
Monkey: So that was stealth mode, huh?
Po: Uh…to be honest, not one of my stronger modes.

Master Ox: It’s time to surrender, panda. Kung Fu is dead. [in despair]
Po: I…ooh…you…you…! Kung Fu is de…ad! Fine! You stay in your prison of fear, with bars made of hopelessness. And all you get are three square meals a day of shame!
Master Croc: With despair for dessert.
Po: We’ll take on Shen. And prove to all those who are hungry for justice and honor, that Kung Fu still lives! [a boar in one of the prison cells shouts bleakly]
Boar: Yeah!

Po: Nothing’s unstoppable except for me when I’m stopping you from telling me something’s unstoppable!

Master Shifu: Remember dragon warrior, when you follow the noble path, anything is possible.

[as the guerrilla guards are chaining Po and the others]
Crane: You can chain my body. But you will never chain my …warrior spirit!

Soothsayer: The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. It is time to stop this madness.
Shen: Why on earth would I do that?
Soothsayer: So your parents can rest in peace.
Shen: My parents hated me. Do you understand? They wronged me. And I will make it right.
Soothsayer: They loved you. They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.
Shen: The dead exist in the past. And I must attend to the future.

Po: No more running, Shen!
Shen: So it seems.
Po: Now, answers.
Shen: Oh, you want to know so badly. You think knowing will heal you, huh? Fill some crater in your soul? Well here’s your answer. Your parents didn’t love you.
[Po looks grief stricken]
Shen: But here, let me heal you.
[he releases a cannon from his weapon shooting straight into Po]

[after Po has defeated all the cannon balls thrown at him and destroyed Shen's ships

Shen: How did you...how did you do it?
Po: You know, you just keep your elbows up and keep the shoulders loose.
Shen: Not that! How did you find peace? I took away your parents. Everything! I...I scarred you for life.
Po: See, that's the thing, Shen. Scars heal.
Shen: No, they don't. Wounds heal.
Po: Oh, yeah. What do scars do? They fade I guess.
Shen: I don't care what scars do.
Po: You should, Shen. You've gotta let go of that stuff from the past, cause it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.
Shen: You're right. Then I choose...this!
[he suddenly draws his sword and swings it at Po]

[after he's finally defeated Shen]
Shifu: It seems you have found inner peace. At such a young age!
Po: Well, I had a pretty good teacher.
Mr. Ping: So, how did it go? Did you save China?
Po: Yep.
Mr. Ping: Well, I knew you would. That’s why I had new signs made.
[holds up the sign with Po's picture on it]
Mr. Ping: My son saved China. You too can save. Buy one dumpling, get one free!

Inner Peace (Part One)

To my great surprise I found so much wisdom in the animated “Kung Fu Panda 2” comedy film that I saw the other day. The theme of it is Inner Peace. I want to say big Thank you to its female Director Jennifer Yuh Nelson for creating such a masterpiece. I am sure the film will win Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. See the film to learn full story, but for now enjoy my favorite passages and savor them:

[meditating]
Shifu: Inner peace. Inner peace
[suddenly we hear Po approaching loudly in the background]
Shifu: Ahh! Inner peace.
Po: Master Shifu? Master Shifu? What have we got? Pirates? Vandals of volcano mountain? Whatever it is, I will take them down. Cause I am in a mood. I need to get somethin’ done. You know what I mean?
[Shifu ignore Po and continues meditating with his eyes closed]
Po: Uh..what are you doing?
Shifu: One of master Oogway’s final teachings.

[Master Shifu carefully handles a water droplet and lets it go onto to a leaf intact]
Po: How did you do that?
Shifu: Inner peace.
Po: Inner peace. That’s cool! Inner peace of what?
Shifu: It is the next phase of your training. Every master must find his path to inner peace. Some choose to meditate for fifty years in a cave just like this, without the slightest taste of food or water.
[Po's stomach makes a loud growling noise]
Po: Or?
Shifu: Some find it through pain and suffering, as I did. Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior, was the worst day of my life. By far, nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful, mind destroying, horrible moment…
Po: Okay.
Shifu: …I have ever experienced.
[he shudders at the thought of it]

Shifu: But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace. And was able to harness the flow of the universe.
Po: So that’s it? I just need inner peace? My innards are already super, super peaceful. So all I need to do is just get this thing going. Inner peace? You’re goin’ down! Now show me what you were doing there with your feet? I saw you do sorta fancy foot thing?

Po: How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?

Master Shifu: Remember, Dragon Warrior, anything is possible when you have inner peace.

Soothsayer: Your story may not have such a happy beginning but that doesn’t make you who you are, it is the rest of your story, who you choose to be.

Tigress: The mast is not a worthy opponent.

Tigress: Po, why are you really out here?
Po: I just found out that my dad isn’t really my dad.
Tigress: Your dad, the goose? Must have been quite a shock.
Po: Yeah.
Tigress: And this bothers you?
Po: Are you kiddin’ me? We’re warriors, right? Nerves of steel! Souls of platinum! Like you! So hard core you don’t feel anything.

Tigress: The hardcore do understand, but I can’t watch my friend be killed.

Po: I’m not freaking out, I’m freakin in!

Soothsayer: Stop fighting. Just let it flow.

Soothsayer: If you continue on your current path, you will find yourself…at the bottom of the stairs. I see…I see…I see….pain!
Shen: Ow!
Soothsayer: And anger.
Shen: How dare you! That is the finest silk in the province!
Soothsayer: Followed by denial.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I’m lost… I’m helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I’m in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in. It’s  a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault, I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

Poem by Portia Nelson from her book “There is a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery”

A Butterfly’s Lesson

A Butterfly’s Lesson

”One day, a small opening appeared in a cocoon; a man sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seems to stop making any progress.

It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further. So the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily.

But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly’s body, and become firm.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and his goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were allowed to go through our life without any obstacles, it would  cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. Never been able to fly.

I asked for Strength… and I was given difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom… and I was given problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity… and I was given a brain and brawn to work.

I asked for Courage….. and I was given obstacles to overcome.

I asked for Love… and I was given troubled  people to help.

I asked for Favors… and I was given Opportunities.

“I received nothing I wanted… but I received EVERYTHING I needed.”

Live life without fear, confront all obstacles and know that you can overcome them.

~Author Unknown

Hüzün in Istanbul

Hüzün in Istanbul

“Hüzün happens when we invest too much in worldly pleasures and material gain. If you hadn’t involved yourself so deeply in this transitory world, you wouldn’t care so much about worldly losses. Hüzün is a spiritual anguish we feel because we can not be close enough to Allah, because we can not do enough for Allah in this world. Hüzün is also when someone has no interest in worldly possessions, but suffers from grief, emptiness and inadequacy because he can never be close enough to Allah. He suffers because he has not suffered enough. Hüzün is in high esteem.

Nothing came to fill the spiritual void. Everyone talks openly about math, success at school, soccer and having fun, but not basic questions of existence – love, compassion, religion, the meaning of life, jealousy, hatred (in trembling confusion and painful solitude). The distance between us (the author and very rich and stupid) was not quite as great as I thought: giving painting to museum or following their passions and living timid mediocre lives. My father wanted to warn me of life of unhappiness I was heading to. A recipe to keep small disaster from me: quick adventure (imagine other Orhan), escape into my second world, paint, fall into a disaster of my own, pick a fight with my brother or count ships.

The main thing I learned at school was not enough to accept the facts of life but you had to be dazzled by their beauty too.

Why I liked painting:

1. Pleasure to draw because it allowed to create miracles everyone appreciated. Get love and praise from others.

2. Escape into another better world.

3. Smell and tools and doing.

4. Create a better world, where you are happy (and perhaps others).

If I prepared to be as bad as I could be I’d be able to paint whenever I liked. Comfort I took in defeat, the damage, the bruises, but then I thought that one day I would do something great.

I forgot the world and played about with my melancholy, its darkness would begin to fade away (when he wrote). Father said that the best thing that a person could do was to live by his own lights – money could never be the object, but if happiness depended on it, it could be a means to that end.

It seemed to me that while we would never find answers to these fundamental questions, it was good for us to ask them anyway, that the happiness and meaning resided in places we would never find and perhaps did not wish to find, but the pursuit (answers, pleasure, emotional depth) mattered no less than the attainment, the asking as important like memories plucked from dreams.”

My favorite parts from “Istanbul” by Orhan Pamuk.