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31 Jan 2012 No Comments

Kabbalah Love (Class Four)

Our last class took place in Brookline instead of Cambridge, and it was a video recording, as the instructor was away. He spoke to us from the screen:

How to connect to love? Major problem with love for many is: it doesn’t stay the same as in the beginning. After initial excitement, you do the same stuff, love is fading away, and things deteriorate.

“I think I love the person, but there is no spark?” Look at the job, there used to be a spark, but with time we lost excitement. But if we understand the essence of a relationship, it has to grow. We need to maintain and grow love. Think about your soul mate, a friend, a parent or someone close to you. Does it bother you that he/she doesn’t do something for you, that you don’t receive enough? We expect to receive from others. We start to take relationships for granted.

There is only one source of energy, joy, health, prosperity and pleasure. In the moment we think that something or someone belong to us, we take them for granted. We forget the original meaning of a relationship. It is not a tool to serve my needs, but to grow. Everything around us is a gift. When we take our health for granted, we disconnect from the source, from the light. Everything including our health, finances, etc. nourishes from the light. We use gifts and don’t get connected.

A person in the relationship becomes part of the furniture in the house. I don’t see how special he or she is, I forget. I am not there to invest the energy anymore. It is not existence. How do you remove this ownership? Consciousness is against our nature. Togetherness, bonding and unity are not natural. They require work.

The worst thing you can do to romance is to get married. “What am I doing with this person? I lost that magic power”. When you get married, you feel like you got there, achieved it. You don’t need to invest anymore. And you will lose it, there will be nothing there. There is never a vacation in a relationship. Relationship is a constant every day work. You need to see other person and communicate, it is not only about you. But people still ask: what have you done for me lately? It’s not comfort zone, but a tool to help each other grow. Push each other. And it is not supposed to be easy.

One of the biggest blockages in relationships: expectations. “Do dishes, make me dinner, give flowers”. Expectations and conditions destroy relationships. Only thing to expect is human dignity, respect and listening.

Communicate what you want but if it still doesn’t happen, let go. Or it will create a bigger space between two of you. Don’t judge the other person, do what you need to do. Help each other grow.

Love will work only when we give 100% to make it work. The right way is to confront, challenge and take responsibility in proactive way. “He is wrong, he needs to come to me”. Instead we need to make it happen. If the person is not a good partner, he will evaporate and the other person will come.

Another blockage is entitlement. “He needs to change his attitude”. The other person is a channel from another universe. I do and I care. When I’m going to change, he is going to change.

Be a giver without expectations and don’t constantly judge the other person. It is impossible to do without being conscious. We need a place to awake a power. Other people may be doing same old: “I want to do what I do, receive what I receive”. If you want love, do hard work inside, otherwise it will happen outside – divorce, issues, pain. You need spiritual home, support. It doesn’t stay the same because love constantly needs to be nourished.

What helps in love is higher cost or higher purpose. We have the power to make a difference. When we contribute to something that is bigger than me and you, we find higher purpose for our togetherness. The instructors’ parents came from different backgrounds, but together they brought the wisdom of Kabbalah to their students.

Love all with no calculation. Love is not to study but practice. Love yourself, make yourself better and connect to everything through love. It will impact love and positivity all around us and everywhere around the world.

Check out “The Power of Kabbalah” and “The Power to Change Everything” books.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

28 Jan 2012 No Comments

Kabbalah Love (Class Three)

Love is work. Our responsibility is to create love in our relationship, to create it in everything we do. Love your neighbor like yourself. But how can you give it, if you don’t have it? If you don’t love yourself, fake it, extend to love thyself.

Accept yourself the way you are. Accept the package you come with. “I’m special but not perfect. I need to work on it. I have to be at peace with myself. Only then I’ll be able to love others”.

People ask: “Where can I get love, to cure my loneliness?” It comes from inside. Just love yourself and them first. Don’t wait for anything.

Everything is available for me to learn, to grow, to become better. I only need to ask a question and learn. There is not always a direct connection between what is happening around and self-improvement. Take notice of judgement. If it upsets us, there is a lesson for us (need to accept).

Do you want to have a soul mate? If yes, then you need to go deeper in your relationships.

The instructor told us a story about a man, who was ugly outside, but as soon as he started to speak  to the woman he liked, she noticed how beautiful he was from inside and she agreed to marry him. Don’t judge things with your 5 senses only, go deeper. There is no relationship until we are there 100%.

A soul mate will not usually be your type, but a vessel to help you grow. We need to see what is right for us, not think what is right.

Why do we have trust issues?

We don’t’ trust because we look at the person as a source of energy.

No human being is a reliable source of energy. There has to be something bigger. You need:

  1. To learn how it all works, what is God
  2. Learn tools to grow

Relationships are not the source of energy. Don’t count on the energy to come from another person. Come as a giver, not a taker. You can’t rely on people to react. You need to find your strength, energy. Be the creator.

Can you genuinely generate love for someone?

The Instructor gave us an exercise to find someone in the room that we don’t think we can ever love and talk to them. I personally didn’t move but some people switched places and moved around the room.  How crazy is that, to tell someone you can’t ever learn to love them?

At the end the instructor commented: “You broke embarrassment. You started talking, then you made connection. During that connection, you break barriers. Then there is light, judgment is curtains. Break your judgment”.

If there is someone you don’t like, there is potential for energy, for growth. The opposite happens if you are indifferent about someone. Relationship with your soul mate will have room for growth, if not, you can just be friends.

Then we were told to go and say something nice to three people in the room. Participants introduced themselves, exchanged compliments and engaged in small talk.

At the end the instructor corrected us saying that no one asked the most important question: “Can I do something for you?” It would mean that we really care about the person, but it is not our nature to do it yet. To learn something new, you need to directly learn it from the person, no matter what it is. Learn from the person; overcome the difficulties of the relationship.

Love is care. If you want a better connection, you need to give, to serve first. We all agreed that sometimes we can’t resist love. “She felt the love and she couldn’t not love him back”.

Love is the ultimate weapon. When we came to this life, we had everything, but were not able to be the creators of love. Now we know we can.

You can generate love for anyone on the planet.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

25 Jan 2012 No Comments

Kabbalah Love (Class Two)

Last week was my second class. The instructor opened it with the following saying: “People believe in three rings – engagement, marriage and suffering. Instead what we are really doing is trying to be as close to the creator as possible.”

We all like falling in love, feeling oneness, but spark can be developed between 2 people. Battle means work. Kabbalists don’t believe in love from first sight, there could be some connection when you meet a person, but real love comes later, when you learn the other person more. You can create love.

Why were we created yearning for love? To make us feel complete?

All the qualities to be there for other people needed to work with light, all those qualities  are already within us. They were created within us.

Because this work is so out of reach all qualities within us will start develop through relationships with other people.

The Universe is created for me and by me. All work with people is a tool to get closer to God, to understand the Creator only through relationships.

It is hard to love those who we resent, but it is about giving and sharing.

We don’t get appreciation so we don’t like them.

In our opinion “Show appreciation and then I’ll like you”, but it is the other way around in Kabbalistic view: You can’t give what you don’t have. You have to appreciate first. You need to love yourself. How do I know that I love myself? You appreciate yourself?

Less I’m reactive the more I love myself. Less possessions, less emptiness within, less I want to determine whether I’m treated well from outside (criticism from other people). Then you will be able to be out there for other person, and not afraid of any losses.

I want to be perfect, to have an ability to know my true power, soul, to know my own baggage (my bad traits).

We are too focused on ourselves, so that we can’t be there for anybody.

What do you judge people for?

The answers were of full range, the majority was about mothers, selves, co-workers, relatives, or other people who judge us. Judgment is a reflection of something that I don’t’ accept within myself. I don’t recognize it.

To become more perfected, more aware, how do we start? Imagine I’m in my own movie, I’m the creator. Learn and improve through experiences every day.

The whole world was created for me. Everything is happening between me and other person – to help me become more powerful. To become more perfect, more loving. Allow me to meet someone who is honest. It is a tool to help me grow and become stronger.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

25 May 2011 No Comments

Hello world!

This morning I felt sad because my parents were leaving after visiting me for several weeks. I haven’t seen them for almost two years and now having them closeby, laughing with them, getting their comments was so familiar and comforting, that I didn’t want them to leave. At work even after consuming a lot of coffee I didn’t feel super productive, something was off.

During lunch though things changed. I looked at the glass roof in the atrium of our building and it was sunny, really sunny: sunlight penetrated everything around me and made all bright. During meeting I was asked to write executive summary for two pieces of the project, and I was intrigued and challenged by the task… and kind of inspired to turn my brain up to its full volume and start creating good stuff. By 5 PM I finished the slides and was pleasantly satisfied with their quality. When I left the building the outside world enveloped me with its deep warmth, I felt like in oasis, even though I was in a trolley full of people. I thought everyone was smiling and enjoying this weather too.

I headed to the technology workshop on Lean Start-up Cycle. By the time I got there, the presentation part was over, but the reception part was on going: interesting people discussing their ideas either in mind baking or in making. I spoke to several entrepreneurs and told them about my idea of  creating formula for happiness. They responded with a lot of questions and positive feedback.

As I was walking from Central to Harvard Square, I thought about my parents.  We took the same route with them on Saturday, the day when some predicted the Judgement Day. My parents and I were joking that no matter what happens, at least we will be together and support each other. When I create my personal formula of happiness my parents will be counted for in it, because they do make me happy.

by polyachka in Happiness Tags: , , , , , , , , ,